FRESNO, CA
Somehow, Mrs. Driedger of Fresno got herself an early screener of the entire next season of HBO’s Game of Thrones and, in her unbridled excitement, proceeded to spoil absolutely everything on Twitter this morning.
“OMG! OMG! I can’t believe it,” tweeted Mrs. Driedger. “Daerneys and Jon have reached Winterfell! Tyrion is the Valonqar! Cersie dies in episode 2!”
After the Game of Thrones tweeting-spree, Mrs. Driedger was promptly hauled in by the local church board to explain her actions.
“We’re pretty liberal-minded. We’ll tolerate almost anything in this church,” said Elder Janzen. “But one thing we will not abide is Game of Thrones spoilers. This woman has got to go!”
The board met for about fifteen minutes before deciding Mrs. Driedger’s fate.
“I’m pretty sure I’m the first person in the history of the Fresno MCMEMM church who’s been excommunicated for failing to give a spoiler alert,” said Mrs. Driedger. “I’m actually okay with it. I’ll just go to the Baptist church across the street. They’re more into Dr. Who there anyway.”
In her last act as a Mennonite church member, Mrs. Driedger spoiled Reverend Janzen’s entire upcoming sermon series on the “God-ordained roles of men and women in the church today.”
(photo credit: Heather Paul/CC)