ALTONA, MB
Mrs. Toews was so thoroughly embarrassed with her failure to add star anise to her chicken soup at the soup and pie fundraiser this past week that she has vowed never to make soup ever again.
“Last year we took away her keys, and now I think it’s time to take away the soup pots,” said Mrs. Toews’s daughter Lauren. “After missing star anise in her chicken noodle, it’s pretty clear her soup making days are behind her.”
Mrs. Toews was reluctant to give up her soup pots, but after tasting her own anise-less chicken soup, she agreed her best soup days were behind her.
“Ugh, this stuff tastes just like the soup the Englishers make. Disgusting,” said Mrs. Toews. “I don’t know what came over me. I guess I’ll just buy Mrs. Reimer’s frozen soups from now on.”
The soup and pie fundraiser really took a nose dive as soon as word got around that Mrs. Toews had left out the star anise.
“Not only did we not raise enough money to reshingle the roof, but I think we wound up in the negative,” said Pastor Tim. “I guess that’s what happens when your soup is sub-par.”
Pastor Tim places a few pods of star anise in each church mailbox in order to make sure this tragedy never occurs again.