GOESSEL, KS
Mrs. Goerzen, 71, of Goessel read through an entire issue of Beyond the Missionary Position while standing at the magazine rack at her local convenience store this week.
“Ahhh, it was nice to catch up on everything that’s happening out there,” said Mrs. Goerzen, returning the slightly-soiled issue to the rack. “Well, let’s see, what should I read next?”
Goerzen then reached for a copy of Buggy Maintenance Monthly and flipped through a copy of Handsome Convservative Men Weekly before the clerk accosted her from behind.
“If you’re not going to pay for that, please put it down!” said Mr. Fehr, owner of Fehr Foods and Other Items Under Four Dollars. “Ugh, now look what you’ve done! The pages are all sticking together. Who’s going to buy this after you’ve got your grubby hands all over it!”
Goerzen scoffed at the insinuation and said she was never going to buy another item at Fehr Foods and Other Items Under Four Dollars again, unless Mr. Fehr reinstated her browsing privileges.