CHILLIWACK, BC
Taunte Lina, 86, of Chilliwack was devastated to find a sign on the door of a local business saying that they were defying government health orders requiring proof of vaccination and would not be asking any questions about “medical history.”
“I’m not so keen on masks. But telling strangers about my medical problems? I’ve been doing that for years,” said Taunte Lina, who showed Daily Bonnet reporters this strange festering boil on her calf. “I mean what else is there to do in the waiting room at the dentist or in the Scrabble room at the manor?”
Taunte Lina plans to tell everyone who asks all about her sore hip, glaucoma, age spots, and even her unsuccessful bunion surgery last year.
“Yes, I’ve been vaccinated, but you know what else? Oh, my rheumatism has really been acting up lately!” explained Taunte Lina in far too much detail. “I was also have a little trouble staying regular last week, so I sent Henry to the store for some prune juice, but he’s not feeling too good after he sprained his wrist the other day in the tub and well, I guess, he and I don’t fit in there together anymore, and I…”
Taunte Lina then regaled anyone who was willing to listen all about her experience with a pair of stubborn compression socks over the weekend.
“I haven’t agreed with all these restrictions, but requiring us to share a bit of our medical history was best idea yet!” said Taunte Lina, who says she plans to boycott any store that doesn’t ask for a very thorough list of all her ailments.