STEINBACH, MB
Fogged-up glasses have one advantage in the Mennonite town of Steinbach – they make it absolutely impossible to recognize anyone in the liquor store.
“Not only do the masks obscure your face, but they also fog up everyone’s glasses, which means we can finally buy our Baby Duck in peace,” said some Mennonite woman we couldn’t recognize. “This is great! I think I’ll stock up on those giant bottles of Crown Royal while I’m at it.”
Usually the local churches send spies to wander the aisles of the liquor store and take note of erring parishioners. But foggy glasses have made their job difficult.
“Diewel! I bet the Stasi never had problems like this!” said Steinbach vice squad spy Mrs. Krahn. “I thought I recognized Mrs. Kornelsen piling her cart full of Jackson Triggs, but then again I can’t be certain. It just as easily could have been Mrs. Thiessen or Mrs. Groening. Impossible to say for sure. Oh, well, I guess I’ll just put all their names down on the list.”
With an entire congregation of fogged-up glasses, the elders had no choice but to excommunicate the whole lot of them.