Mennonites Consume Record Numbers of Rapple Chaps During Stanley Cup Final

LA CRETE, AB

Stores across the Canadian prairies are all out of rapple chaps this evening, as Mennonites stock up for the big game.

“We’ve got everything you need for a Stanley Cup party,” said Martha Ens of La Crete. “We’ve got rapple chaps, dill pickles, and plenty of knackzoat.”

Mennonites will be chowing down on rapple chaps all evening, but Ens says she’s got some extra chaps in case things get tense.

“I know my Earl always eats a lot of chaps when he gets nervous,” said Martha. “I’ve even got some extra onion dap for those chaps.”

Regardless of the outcome, the Enses say it’s going to be a fun night, with a lot of chaps.

“But their won’t be any booze,” said Martha. “This is a strictly Papsi household.”

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