LANCASTER, PA
Pastor Troyer of Lancaster County is petitioning the United States government for permission to spread as much BS about the pandemic as he pleases under the ‘Freedom of Disinformation Act’.
“What good is the Freedom of Disinformation Act if I can’t even mislead my people about the nature of the pandemic?” said Pastor Troyer. “It’s time we stand up for our right of access to disinformation now!”
The Freedom of Disinformation Act is a rather obscure law meant to protect Mennonites, Amish and other groups who sometimes prefer to keep their heads in the sand and ignore reality.
“It also allows us to concoct elaborate BS conspiracy theories to explain what’s going on in the world right now,” said Troyer. “The more disinformation we get out there, the better!”
So far a number of Mennonite pastors have been making great use of the law, spreading all sorts ridiculous crap.
“Did you hear that Bill Gates is microchipping our delicious donuts and German sausages?” said Troyer. “This whole thing is a conspiracy to keep us from conducting our bi-weekly barn raisings!”
Troyer says he was also able to access several important government health documents through the Freedom of Disinformation Act, but says he was relieved to see that everything true and useful in them had been blacked out with a marker.