TORONTO, ON
Thousands of Mennonites from Waterloo County fled to the big city of Toronto this afternoon after the word got out that the power was down.
“Finally, those city folks are seeing the error of their electricity-loving ways,” said Johan Eby. “I’m sure it won’t take them long before they’ll be singing German hymns and snuggling up with a lawfully-wedded spouse in one of our comfy quilts.”
The industrious Mennonites were quick to start planting seed in Queen’s Park, with some even hoping for a full crop of alfalfa this fall.
“We’ve already got the CN Tower half-full with straw bales,” said Eby. “And it looks like Scotiabank Arena will make a perfect place to shelter our cattle.”
The Mennonites plan to offer free public transportation to anyone willing to shoe a horse.
“I guarantee we’ll get you to Ottawa quicker than Air Canada these days,” said Eby. “I never thought I’d enjoy city life, but I have to say with all the power out, Toronto’s not half bad.”