ANAHEIM, CA
Being sensible and civilized people, Mennonites across North America have expressed an overwhelming preference for the late Adam West’s version of Batman. A recent survey showed that 91% of Mennonites chose Adam West above Val Kilmer, Christian Bale, and even Michael Keaton.
“We may live a simple agrarian lifestyle, but we’re not idiots,” said area farmer Dale Schultz. “To me, the conversation begins and ends with the 60s TV Batman. All the other Batmans are but a footnote to the great Adam West.”
Mennonite tributes to Adam West poured in after the only real Batman passed away on Saturday at the age of 88.
“I grew up sneaking over to my Lutheran friend Billy’s house. They had a television set, you know,” explained Schultz. “And it was there that I discovered the wondrous ‘Kapow’ ‘Zoom’ ‘Bang’ world of Adam West and Burt Ward. It blew my sheltered 8-year-old Mennonite mind.”
While other Batmans may have been more ‘serious’ or ‘dark’, Mennonites preferred the campy antics of Adam West and company.
“I’m sorry, Christian Bale, but if I wanted to watch grumpy heavy-breathing middle-aged men romp around for two-and-a-half hours,” said Schultz, “I’d spend a lot more time at the church board meetings.”
The survey also showed a highly favourable score for Julie Newmar’s Catwoman.
