TORONTO, ON
Brother of late great Toronto mayor Rob Ford, Ontario PC candidate Doug Ford has gained a lot of attention for his unconventional policy proposals during this provincial election campaign. Recently, Ford proposed to bring back the “Buck a Beer” plan, enabling beer-drinkers across the province to, as Ford puts it, “get totally hammered a hell of a lot cheaper!” Ontario Mennonites, known for their frugality and temperance, were quick to react to the policy.
- “Wow! That’s so cheap, even I might take up drinking.” – Reverend Duerksen, 85, Waterloo
- “Pretty good. Now, if only he could do something about the high cost of pickle juice.” – Mrs. Snyder, 71, St. Jacobs
- “Oba, that’s still more expensive than the stuff Oma Wiens makes in the bathtub in her back yard.” – Dorothy Wiens, 55, Leamington
- “If this Doug Ford fellow wants cheap beer, I can hook him up with my guy in Chihuahua.” – Noah Funk, 43, Kitchener
- “Ach, that doesn’t impress me at all. Back in my day, Mr. Friesen was elected to the village council on a promise of ten cent jello shooters behind the barn. He won in a landslide. Doug Ford’s going to have to do a lot better than that!” – Earl Peters, 61, Kenora
- “With legal weed and cheap beer, I think I can finally convince my cousins from Pennsylvania to come up for a visit!” – Sarah Yoder, 20, Waterloo
(photo credit: haven’t the slightest/CC)