ALTONA, MB
Mennonites across southern Manitoba are unsure what they’re supposed to make of everything that’s been happening lately and are just waiting for Paul Harvey to explain it all to them in the words and overly folksy manner that they can understand.
“I usually reserve judgement about most everything until I’ve spent a few minutes in prayer and a few hours listening to Paul Harvey,” said Mrs. Toews. “I just want to hear the rest of the story. My Dietrich and I are both standing by for news!”
The Toewses adore Paul Harvey’s down home storytelling and his ability to always shock them with a surprising twist at the end like the fact that the freckled little boy with the lemonade stand became none other than former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger or whatever.
“I don’t listen to any other news,” said Mrs. Toews. “When it comes from Paul Harvey, you know you’re going to have to pay attention to the whole story just to find out that the little girl with the braids turned out to be Eleanor Roosevelt.”
The Toewses always appreciate Paul Harvey’s take on things and have been faithful listeners for the past fifty years and no one has the heart to tell them that Paul Harvey died years ago and will likely have nothing at all to tell them about the trails and tribulations of living in the year 2020.