OTTAWA, ON
With money and tax breaks flowing out of Ottawa like a von Riesen out of 16th-century Friesland, several Mennonites are wondering whether this whole thing might just be a feeble attempt to buy Vogts.
“That might work on the Englishers, but it’ll take a whole lot more than $250 to buy a Vogt,” said Abe Vogt of Mitchell. “I like a tax break as much as the text guy, but they better know that this Vogt is not for sale.”
Vogts are quite upset at the situation, saying they wish they weren’t being targeted like this.
“I’m sure it doesn’t take much to buy a Wiebe or Penner,” said Abe, “but how dare they think they could get a Vogt so inexpensively?”
Investigators will also be looking into the situation, as the buying and selling of Vogts has been illegal in Canada since at least the 1920s.
“If we don’t stop the buying of Vogts right now, next thing you know there’ll be Vogts for sale at your local thrift store,” said Abe. “And I’ve always said a brand new Vogt is much better than a used Vogt, not matter how thoroughly the rinse and clean him up.”