MORDEN, MB
Some local residents are calling Morden, Manitoba the “Las Vegas of the North,” after a brand new sign featuring a giant fossilized fish and large white letters spelling out MORDEN was erected earlier this week.
“It’s too bold, showy, and ostentatious, what with all those letters on there spelling out the town name and all that,” said one local business owner who wished to remain anonymous. “And don’t get me started on that giant fish thing. What is that even? A pickerel?”
With Morden well on its way to becoming “Sin City,” concerned locals have taken drastic action.
“I’m going to be camping outside the big fish thingy until it’s removed,” said local anti-sign activist Arthur Digby Peters. “I will not let my town be turned into a den of iniquity and big signs.”
Along with three of his closest cousins, Peters has spearheaded the #OccupyMorden movement, with the hopes that someday no one will take any notice of the goings on in Morden.
“We’re here to make as big a fuss as possible, so that no pays any attention to what goes on here,” said Peters. “I miss the good ol’ days when the only reason anyone came into Morden was to eat at Chicken Chef.”