MORDEN, MB
New evidence suggests Winklerites were trying to influence the voting at the Miss Morden Corn and Apple Festival pageant last year. This finding greatly concerns Morden’s Corn and Apple committee who are going to deeply probe into the matter.
“Miss Corn and Apple is a sacred position. We can’t have the Winkler Wiebes trying to get their cousin on the ballot,” said Mr. Schmidt of Morden. “Next thing you know the Winklerites are going to tap into our water supply and taint it with golden syrup.”
It’s believed that a team of Winklerlites dressed up in skinny jeans to dry to blend in with the Morden crowd and then proceeded to vote for Taunte Tina for Miss Corn and Apple.
“It was real shock when Taunte Tina Wiebe placed second,” said Schmidt. “The only reason she didn’t win was because her apple-bobbing skills were not up to par.”
Had a Winklerite won the contest, experts believe they would heave been able to influence Morden policy.
“Mandatory church attendance followed by meddachschlop,” said Schmidt. “Can you imagine such behaviour in our fair city of Morden?”
