WINNIPEG, MB
A committee of 12 American delegates have arrived in Canada this week in hopes of adding a significant amount of territory to the American empire.
“Everything was going okay until we arrived in Winnipeg,” said delegate Wiebe. “I’d heard of it before, but you can’t really describe it unless you experience it first hand.”
The delegates took one step off the airplane and decided Winnipeg did not need to be included in their plan to make Canada the 51st US State.
“We’d like to invite all of Canada, apart from Winnipeg, to join the union,” said American Ambassador Dave Wiebe. “We don’t need that kind of weather … or the roads for that matter.”
It didn’t help that the investigators arrived in the dead of winter (okay, well, early December), which gave them a distinctly frigid impression of the city.
“Yeah, we’re good,” said Wiebe. “Back to Kansas we go.”
A full report will appear sometime this winter after the committee has visited other Canadian cities such as Abbotsford, Rothern, and La Crete.
