RANDOLPH, MB
While the rest of his buddies have just finished their spring seeding this year, area man and proud New Holland owner Dwayne Funk is, apparently, already bringing in his first harvest.
“Oh, I see you’re still seeding. How cute,” said Funk to his pals at the Randolph Garage. “That’s what you get for picking an inferior tractor.”
Funk says he’s been harvesting since March already and attributes his success to the fact his tractor is not green and yellow.
“Get with the program, boys,” said Funk. “By June 1st you should be using your combine.”
Funk’s pals simply can’t figure out what is going on over at the Funk farm.
“I’m not sure he’s being so forthcoming with his methods,” said rival farmer Pete Unger. “A tractor doesn’t make that much of a difference.”
Surveillance footage taken from the top of the old Chortitz church suggests Funk may, in fact, simply be bringing in all the crops he forgot to harvest last fall.