GNADENSCHANTZ, SK
At the tender age of just six-and-a-half minutes, young Jebediah Neufeld let out a blood-curdling scream and begged to go back in the womb after witnessing his father’s face for the first time. Doctors quickly rushed to the scene trying to calm the newborn.
“Don’t do it. Don’t go back in. You have your whole life ahead of you,” said Dr. Penner. “Plus, there’s no guarantee you’ll grow up to look like your father.”
The words were no consolation as Jebediah scurried to get back in, much to his mother’s dismay.
“Nine months is long enough,” said Mrs. Neufeld. “He’s got to go out on his own now, no matter what he thinks of his father’s appearance.”
Mr. Neufeld, however, is taking the rejection in stride.
“The same thing happened to me all the time in Bible School,” said Mr. Neufeld. “The ladies screamed and ran away as soon as I drew near. I can’t help it. I guess they don’t like a man with a four-foot beard.”
After a tense hour of pleading, doctors were able to convince Jebediah to stay in the outside world.
“Mennonites have a history of fleeing from problems,” said Dr. Penner. “It looks like little Jebediah here just wanted to flee from his father’s face. But he’s slowly learning to accept it.”
Jebediah doesn’t seem to mind the look of his mother, but wonders what on earth she ever saw in his totally hideous father.