KITCHENER, ON
For more than fifty years the vacant space on Mr. Funk’s lapel has been quiet and peaceful. Sadly, however, a war for territorial supremacy has recently broken out between a poppy and an MCC peace button.
“I should have just left well enough alone, but it seems I really stirred things up with the introduction of that poppy,” said Funk. “Once I did that, the peace button wanted to get in on the action and they’ve been battling it out ever since.”
Both parties have claimed territory over Mr. Funk’s heart, though neither side is willing to concede any space to the other and the lapel is now littered with pin holes.
“I’ve seen some lapels where the poppy and peace button coexist in tolerance and harmony, but, unfortunately, my lapel is rather narrow and there just isn’t enough room for both,” said Mr. Funk. “Perhaps I could dig up one my old suits from the 70s. Those lapels might be wide enough.”
The rival factions have gone back and forth over the past few days, but so far no end is in sight.
