LA CRETE, AB
There was a time when Mennonite children had their mouths washed out with soap anytime they uttered a hearty “waut es met die?” on the schoolyard. Things have changed, however, and now the world’s first Plautdietsch immersion school has opened in the nothern Alberta town of La Crete.
“We’re hoping to have schools in Altona, Abbotsford, and even Coaldale, Alberta by the end of the year,” said dairy farmer and self-appointed school principal Isaac Neufeld. “So far everything’s running smoothly, although our high school Physics textbooks leave something to be desired.”
The school is scrambling to translate the entire Alberta curriculum into Plautdietsch and have enlisted local omas and opas to help out.
“So far the kids have learned diewel, schinda, and jauma lied,” explained Neufeld. “They’ve got a long way to go, but you’ve got to start somewhere.”
In a reversal of previous generations, students will now be punished if they speak English on the schoolyard.
“Na, junges, kjenn jie noch Plautdietsch?”
In true Mennonite fashion, the school has already experienced its first schism over whether to use Herman Rempel or Jack Thiessen’s dictionary.
“Oh, and that’s not all, “said Neufeld. “I hear another group thinks this whole “immersion” thing sounds a little too close to something the Mennonite Brethren must have come up with.”