VANAPAG, MENNOTOBA
After getting their behinds whooped by a kindly Mennonite grandmother for the past couple weeks, the provincial government has decided that this Oma Krahn is just too much to handle and will no longer be putting up a fight of any kind.
“That Oma Krahn has got us beat,” said Premier Stefanson. “It’s every Menno for themselves now! Good luck!”
In the first few rounds, Oma Krahn employed a variety of Mennonite tactics such as a good firm scolding, raw onions, and castor oil.
“Yeah and by round 4, we were ready to throw in the towel,” said Stefanson, “Or I guess you could say, ‘we’re throwing in the tobbdüak.‘”
Things were finally settled in the middle of the 5th round, when Oma Krahn hauled out the most powerful weapon in her repertoire: the wooden spoon.
“All I had to do was reach for the kitchen drawer and I had them shaking in their boots,” said Oma Krahn. “I’m surprised that tactic works on full-grown adults but, hey, who am I to complain? I own this province now!”
In a red carpet ceremony at the Legislative building after the match, Stefanson presented Oma Krahn with the keys to the Premier’s office and a free City of Winnipeg bus pass.