GOESSEL, KS
It’s the wave that’s sweeping the nation: foot-washing. Millennials, Gen Zers – you name it, they’re doing it. After a popular Super Bowl commercial last week, retailers were quick to capitalize on the trend.
“We knew this was going to be big,” said Urban Outfitters spokesperson Diane Miller. “But we didn’t know how big. Apparently they’re holding foot washing parties on college campuses across the nation.”
While traditional Mennonite foot washing is a somber and meaningful ritual involving tepid water and sock lint, the new Gen Z version allows participants to get up and intimate with feet of all shapes and sizes.
“Seriously, foot washing is the new foam party,” said Miller. “And Urban Outfitters has everything you might need for your foot washing parties – towels, plastic bowls, even a foot washing soundtrack pressed on grey-sparkled vinyl.”
Miller warns folks, however, that only those with W rizz will be able to participate in the foot washing.
“We’ve already got young people asking each other what their ‘foot count’ is,” said Miller. “I’m sure glad we were able to turn this sacred ritual into a secular cash cow yet again.”
(Photo Credit: by Johnragai-Moment Catcher/CC)
