ST. CATHERINES, ON
As significant doubts about the existence of ketchup nuggets spread like wildfire this week, Burger King Canada has decided to post photographic evidence that their new ‘ketchup nuggets’ are actually a real thing and not just a hoax … or some satirist’s idea of a joke.
“I’m a naturally skeptical person,” said Burger King enthusiast Kathy Olfert of St. Catherine’s. “Ketchup chips on a chicken nugget? Seriously? Of course, I had to see proof.”
Still, a few photos of some faintly red nuggets were not enough to convince her.
“Looks staged to me,” said Olfert. “I mean just look at the angle on those nuggets. Probably took that ketchup nugget photo in a Hollywood studio. I hear they might have even got Stanley Kubrick involved.”
There was no amount of evidence that was convincing for Olfert, until she stepped into a Burger King location herself. After consuming an 8-pack of ketchup nuggets, Olfert still isn’t convinced.
“I’ve learned to distrust my own senses,” said Olfert. “I mean, when you’ve got something like ketchup nuggets that goes against all the laws of science and nature, you’ve still gotta doubt it, know what I mean? Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”
Scientist Richard Dawkins is reportedly already working on a book with Olfert called The Ketchup Nugget Delusion.