CUAUHTEMOC, MEXICO
No one paid much attention to the sausage-stained doily the Kehlers have been using for centuries. Until now. Researchers recently discovered that the sausage drippings and pickle juice could date back to the time of Menno Simons.
“We’ve had this crocheted tablecloth in our family for centuries,” said Mrs. Kehler. “Flanders, Prussia, Ukraine, Canada and now Mexico. It’s been in the family the whole time.”
While skeptics suggested the stains date back no longer than the great Kleine Gemeinde church picnic of 1987, new evidence points to it being a lot older than that.
“We’re talking the 16th century here,” said Dr. Enns of the University of Northern Cuauhtemoc. “This doily very well could have belonged to Menno Simons himself.”
Still not everyone is convinced.
“I can spot Taunte Tina’s salsa stains a mile away,” said Anne Kehler. “I’m not convinced Menno Simons ever got near the thing.”
True believers, however, say that if you squint really hard, you can almost make out the image of Menno in a dried splash of cream gravy.
(photo credit: sk/CC)