SWIFT CURRENT, SK
Residents of Swift Current, Saskatchewan, population 16,750, are fuming mad this week after it was revealed that pop superstar Taylor Swift had left their community off her worldwide tour.
“What an insult to the fans,” said Swift Current Swiftie Megan Thiessen. “If Swift doesn’t come to Swift Current swiftly, then I’m going to quit being a Swiftie altogether.”
According to fans, Taylor Swift has a moral obligation to visit every town, darp, and village on the planet.
“I mean I get that she’s not going to play Toronto or Vancouver, but how dare she leave off Swift Current of all places,” said Thiessen. “Well, I guess she’s missing out. I would have given her an ice cream pail fill of grandma’s oatmeal raisin cookies. Her loss.”
The Swift Current Swiftie Society plans to disband and select a different pop star to idolize.
“We’re hoping to lure Ed Sheeran to our town,” said Thiessen. “As of today, we’re officially known as the Swift Current Eddies, until such time as Ed slights us on his upcoming tour. After that we’re giving up pop forever and just going back to listening to country music.”
(photo credit: Eva Rinaldi/CC)