WASHINGTON, DC After suggesting that mail-in voting would lead to voter fraud, President Trump is requesting that the 2020 Presidential Election be held the Mennonite way: throwing everyone’s name into Elder Friesen’s sweaty wide-brimmed black […]
MORDEN, MB Cousin Pieta of Reinland was spotted cruising down the highway to Morden this past week and was immediately branded as ‘aufaulle‘ by the village purity committee. “Diestchlaund, that cousin Pieta, heading to Morden […]
OTTAWA, ON Ahh, the Canadian Senate, a collection of old irrelevant out-of-touch people who somehow have the power to make decisions around here…oh, wait, are we talking about the elder board? Well, there are some […]
BERGTHAL, MB Conservative Mennonites across North America are interpreting tonight’s blood moon as a ‘clear sign from God’ that they no longer have to follow the ‘bullshit rules’ of the elders and can now live […]
ASHLAND, PA The National Guard were rushed into a small Pennsylvania church this past Sunday after a Mennonite woman attempted to get behind the pulpit and elucidate the audience on the Book of 2 Peter. […]
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