The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

fidget spinner

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Hands Out Fidget Spinners to Keep People Alert During Boring Sermon

June 4, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After receiving numerous complaints about the length and monotony of Pastor Johan’s sermons, the local MBB church had decided to hand out hundreds of fidget spinners to keep the people occupied at this morning’s service. […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Truck Spills Schmaunt Fat All Over Memphis Highway
    September 9, 2022
  • A List of Things Erroneously Blamed on Violent Video Games
    March 13, 2018
  • Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight
    October 31, 2025
  • Mennonite Rock Band Releases All-Cowbell Version of ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’
    July 2, 2021
  • Blood Moon ‘A Sign From God’ that the Reign of the Fundamentalist Mennonite Elders Has Come to an End
    July 27, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved