WINKLER, MB In a press conference this morning, Winkler mayor Milton Heinrichs announced the hiring of the city’s first female police officer. After searching for more than 12 years for a suitable candidate, the committee […]
LANCASTER, PA The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has recently ruled that all Dutch Blitz players in the region must sport full body armour from now on. “This is for your own good. It’s for your own protection,” […]
STEINREICH, MB A local Mennonite pastor was arrested this past weekend for allegedly baptizing more than half a dozen people while in a state of mild intoxication. “Here in Manitoba we have a zero tolerance […]
MORDEN, MB In a recent sting operation, the Winkler Vice Squad have arrested yet another Winklerite drinking at the Morden Bar. The unnamed individual has been arraigned under charges of Treason, Heresy, and Drinking in Moderation. “This is […]
VANCOUVER, BC After an exhausting three-month class action lawsuit, a BC patent court has ruled in favour of Mennonite Grandmas over the use of the man bun. The court awarded the Grandmas $3.2 billion in […]
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