WASHINGTON, DC Just days after calling on NFL owners to fire players who kneeled during the national anthem, President Trump issued an executive order terminating the contract of every player in the NFL and replacing […]
LA CRETE, AB As Canadians gather today to celebrate 150 years of nationhood, members of a small town Mennonite church will not be participating in the festivities. “I don’t know what the heck this ‘sexy-centennial’ […]
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA The Daily Bonnet is now under the control of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and we require that all Mennonites turn from their ways and commit themselves to Kim Jong-un. Based on our […]
OTTAWA, ON Patriotic Canadians across the country will gather today to celebrate a really long time of not being the United States of America. “Canadians are a completely distinct culture. We have, like, slightly different […]
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