MONTREAL, QC A box of delicious greasy poutine has won a whopping 88% of the popular vote this week, although some have doubts about the validity of the results. “I didn’t vote for poutine. My […]
SUNRISE, FL Controversial British rocker Morrissey was spotted at the NHL All Star Game in Florida this weekend, where he picked up two assists and placed third in the slap shot competition. “Who would have […]
MOSCOW, RUSSIA Just moments after an empty net goal put him second all-time in career goals, Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin tossed the historic puck into a manila envelope, slapped on a couple stamps, and mailed […]
MOSCOW, RUSSIA Russian dictator Vladimir Putin is “far too busy hunting with my shirt off” to attend the funeral of the best leader Russia’s had in the past 100 years. “You see when it’s shirtless […]
MOSCOW, RUSSIA Russian leader Vladimir Putin has reassured the global community that he plans to employ the “tried and true withdrawal method” during his upcoming Ukraine incursion. “Our best scientists have tested this method very […]
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