WASHINGTON, DC
Even the Canadian satire industry has not escaped Trump’s trade war, with an expected 25% tariff to be slapped on all exports of sarcasm and mockery.
“We don’t need Canada’s jokes. We have our own jokes, very good jokes, the best jokes,” explained Trump. “The Canadians have treated us very badly with their satire. Very bad. Hurts our feelings sometimes. Very very bad.”
The tariff was immediately felt in the Canadian satire industry, with sites like The Beaverton, Walking Eagle News, and The Unger Review all slashing jokes to get down to the American level.
“Reducing the humour by 25% is going to be a bit of a challenge,” said Walking Eagle Editor-in-Grand-Chief Tim Fontaine. “But I figure I can just throw in a bunch of big words so the jokes go over their heads.”
Canadians have rallied behind their homegrown satirists by vowing to consume nothing but French’s ketchup and Canadian satire until this trade war ends.
“Quite frankly, I’m not sure I’ll even notice the tariff,” said Grunthal resident Pete Martens. “I assumed that Andrew Unger fellow turned down the humour by 25% a long time ago.”
In an effort to reduce the level of humour in their content, Canadian satire sites will now exclusively employ writers from The Babylon Bee.