GOESSEL, KS
Just days after first hooking up with Kansas City football star Travis Kelce, pop star Taylor Swift has fully immersed herself in Kansas Mennonite culture.
“We knew it wouldn’t take long and she’d succumb to the siren call of a nice Kansas farm,” said Goessel resident Dorothy Krause. “So many people go the city, but soon are lured into the countryside by the wide open fields of turkey red wheat.”
According to reports, Swift has already begun dressing like a “good proper Mennonite” and has even learned a thing or two about Mennonite farm life.
“Her stage show will never be the same,” said Krause. “I’m really looking forward to her new autoharp version of ‘You Need to Calm Down.’ Plus I hear her concerts will also feature a hog butchering.”
More than 80,000 tickets have already been sold to her upcoming show at the historic Alexanderwohl Mennonite Church.
(photo credit: by torbakhopper/CC)