GOESSEL, KS
A trivial donation in the late 80s has led to a lifetime of junk mail for a Goessel, Kansas couple.
“Ugh, Henry, here it is again,” said Mrs. Friesen, sorting through her junk mail. “I don’t even know what Faith, Hope and Pizza even is. Do you remember donating to them?”
Somehow they’ve been on the Faith, Hope and Pizza mailing list for the past three decades, though neither Friesen can recall the circumstances under which they got on the mailing list in the first place.
“You’d think they’d have given up on us as future donors, but no, we keep get the literature,” said Mrs. Friesen. “Sadly, it goes straight in the trash, along with the Christmas card from our congressman.”
The Friesens are also receiving solicitations from a baffling array of charities including the Greater Goessel Goose Liver Foundation, the Victims of Mennonite Shunning Board and the Children’s Geriatric Hospital of Kansas.
“It’s that time of year,” said Mrs. Friesen. “The mail box is crammed full of these things. Not to mention all the Walmart flyers.”
Mrs. Friesen says she plans to peruse all the donation flyers this year and donate exclusively to the one that doesn’t use comic sans font on the envelope.