ONNWEEHTENHEIT, MB
While many politicians, from all political stripes, have publicly come out in favour of science and logic, a few are refusing to answer the question, saying that “my family’s personal stance on these issues is a private matter.”
“It’s none of anyone’s business whether I’m in favour of science or whether I just believe whatever I find on YouTube,” said local MP the Right Honourable Richard Shart. “No one needs to know whether I make sound decisions based on logic, or whether I find supposed evidence that confirms my biases and just go with that.”
Reporters replied by suggesting no one was asking for his “family’s” take on the subject, but as a public servant, voters might be interested to know whether their MP was anti-stupid-crap-found-on-the-Internet or not.
“Flat earth, anti-vax, 9/11, the moon-landing. Who are you to ask me questions about such things!” said Shart. “My commitment to you, as your MP, is to keep you completely in the dark about my most deeply held beliefs so that you really have no idea whether your MP has a head on his shoulders or not.”
Many have taken Shart’s lack of disclosure as a sign he’s actually anti-science, but Shart denies this conclusion.
“No, no, no. I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is, that’s for me to know and you to find out!” yelled an increasingly angry Shart. “Is it really that important to voters to know whether they’ve sent a complete dunce to Ottawa or not? I mean, does that really matter?”
It’s not known whether the MP is actually pro-random-moronic-stuff-I-found-online-somewhere, or whether he’s just worried he might alienate his base if he revealed he was in favour of logic and science.
