TORONTO, ON
Mrs. Wiebe, 47, of Toronto was caught at the Pearson Airport this week with three suitcases packed full of delicious Mennonite farmer sausage that she obtained on a recent trip to southern Manitoba.
“We have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of thing,” said security officer Todd Ford. “We just can’t let these kind of substances enter the GTA. It’s violent enough out there already as it is without people fighting over formavorscht.”
Mrs. Wiebe, who grew up in the Plum Coulee area, has been desperate for real Manitoba farmer sausage for quite some time.
“I did what I did and I’m not going to apologize,” said Mrs. Wiebe. “I’m not going to let some bureaucrat in some office somewhere tell me what kind of vorscht I can and can’t put into my body!”
The entire southern Ontario Mennonite community has rallied behind Mrs. Wiebe and have even offered to pay her bail money.
“There but for the grace of God go I,” said Reverend Funk. “She made a bad choice, but I think we’ve all thought about it…”
Rumours have it the airport people are having a huge faspa on an unused runway with all the formavorscht and cheese curds they’ve confiscated from homesick Manitobans over the past couple months.
