WASHINGTON, DC
Starting this week, US President Donald Trump will be imposed a strict Amish-inspired dress code in the White House.
“It’s gotten pretty slack around around here,” said Trump. “And, you know, of all the issues we have to deal, both domestic and foreign, the most pressing one is making sure our guests are properly dressed. So, naturally, I consulted with the folks with the strictest dress code of them all – the Amish.”
Men will be asked to wear a collared shirt and suspenders with a lovely straw hat and beard. Dirty rubber boots will be carefully washed by White House staff upon entry.
“And the women?” said Trump. “Well, who are we kidding, we don’t allow women into the Oval Office, anyway.”
The news was met with great fanfare across the nation.
“Finally a little bit of decorum and decency in the nation’s capital,” said pundit Abram Hawbaker. “I just hope it doesn’t take White House staff very long to learn all the German hymns.”