KITCHENER, ON
Uncle Henry has been arrested and is being held in the local Mennonite church basement this week after being caught shooting from the top of five-point zone.
“I’ve always wondered how he got so many twenties. Now I know,” said nephew Dan. “I guess I should have been paying closer attention.”
It’s not known how he had been getting away with such brazen cheating for so long, but it may have something to do with all the cookies his wife Martha has been providing.
“I never thought about it before, but whenever Uncle Henry’s taking a shot, Aunt Martha’s shoving baked goods in our faces,” said Dan. “I think she was in on it.”
For some reason, Uncle Henry also seems to always have an extra piece to shoot at the end of the round.
“Next time I’m counting the pieces more carefully,” said Dan. “He’s always saying, ‘but I’ve got one more shot’ and hauling out a black knipser.”
It’s not known when, if ever, he’ll be allowed to leave the church basement, but church elders are discussing his case as we speak.