STEINBACH, MB
Mennonite satire website The Unger Review lost three board members, two editors, and more than 200,000 subscribers this week after Andrew Unger was like, “meh, nah,” and refused to endorse a candidate in the US Presidential election.
“This is outrageous,” said Mrs. Miller of Lancaster. “How can I know how to vote unless a minor Canadian Mennonite celebrity voices his opinion on a foreign election?”
Still waiting for Unger’s official endorsement, thousands of readers have left for other Mennonite satire sites.
“I’m definitely the sort of voter who’s swayed by endorsements,” said Mr. Janzen of Fresno. “I haven’t made up my mind and whatever that Andrew Unger fellow says could tip the scales, so to speak.”
Unger says he’s shocked that anyone would seek a satirist’s opinion, especially a Canadian one.
“Besides, wouldn’t people just think I was being sarcastic?” said Unger.
Meanwhile, Mr. Yoder of Goshen said he’s glad Unger has not officially endorsed anyone.
“Geez, leave the guy alone already,” said Mr. Yoder. “I think we all know who he’d vote for anyway.”