FRESNO, CA
Residents of California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas woke up this morning to find that construction of a massive wall had already begun on their northern borders.
“I was going to visit some relatives in Oregon, but when I got to the state line they asked for a passport,” said confused Fresno resident Mr. Loewen. “I couldn’t figure out what was going on. It seems I live in Mexico now or something.”
The mixup is believed to have been caused when a contractor was given an out-dated map.
“It’s too late now. We’ve spent billions on this already,” said President Trump. “The people in that part of the country will just have to get used to it.”
As a result, millions of southwestern Americans will have to adapt to a new life as Mexican citizens.
“I’m not sure I can handle living in Mexico,” said Mr. Loewen. “I mean, what will I eat? Let me tell you, my Martha’s chile relleno leaves a lot to be desired.”
In a press conference later in the day, the Mexican government announced that, yes, the Americans had finally built a wall that they are willing to pay for.
