WOLFSBURG, GERMANY
Disappointed that not enough people were accidentally setting off their car alarms, Volkswagen has replaced the entire key fob with one giant red panic button.
“Customers were complaining that the placement of the panic button was not convenient enough,” said VW spokesperson Wilma Fischer. “They’d grab the fob, flick open the key that juts out like a switch blade and, in that process, they just weren’t setting off the alarm often enough.”
Fischer hopes to bring the number of false alarms up dramatically and plans to have parking garages across the globe blaring with loud annoying alarms by the end of the year.
“When you reach in your purse to grab your keys, what you really want is your car to start screaming at you,” said Fischer. “We’re also planning to increase the volume of the alarm, especially for false alarms when you accidentally push the button. A lot of other auto makers’ alarms max out at 10, but our alarms go to 11.”
Passat owner Erin Neufeld is really looking forward to hauling around the giant red panic button, which will give her an excuse to buy a bigger purse and her husband Henry to finally stop wearing those skinny jeans.
(photo credit: wlodi/CC)