TORONTO, ON
In order to be consistent with their recent poppy ban, Whole Foods Canada has also banned anyone from coming into the store wearing one of those MCC Peace Buttons.
“Please wear a mask, but don’t you dare promote peace, love, and understanding,” said Whole Foods manager Melinda. “People come to Whole Foods to buy overpriced quinoa and organic French vanilla, not think about remembrance and/or peace.”
In addition to not wanting to distract its upwardly mobile customers with thoughts about the world outside their own homes, Whole Foods was concerned the MCC button might encourage people to buy from thrift stores.
“We much prefer that people purchase our ten dollar Hass avocados,” said Melinda. “If you want to stock up for your avocado toast, you’ve come to the right place, but if want to work for peace, do it elsewhere please.”
In an effort to appease its Mennonite customers, Whole Foods has permitted employees to wear small pins that says, “To remember is to work for peas.”