HILLSBORO, KS
Mrs. Warkentin had some explaining to do after a lovely bottle of Stag’s Leap Cab Sauv was discovered tucked away in the back of kitchen cupboards.
“It’s very suspicious. It was in behind the Tupperware,” said church vice committee member Mrs. Buhler. “You don’t have to hide it in the back if you’re using it to make stew.”
Still, Mrs. Warkentin insisted that she had the wine just to make a few dishes and that the alcohol “cooked away” when heated up.
“Ach, who is that woman kidding. That’s top shelf wine. She ain’t cooking with it, let me tell you,” said Mrs. Buhler. “That would be a waste.”
Upon hearing these words, however, Mrs. Warkentin, became very suspicous herself.
“If she’s so holy, how does she know the difference between good wine and the swill you cook with,” said Mrs. Warkentin. “I suspect her weekly Bible studies may not be the sober affair she makes them out to be!”
The bottle in question has been taken in by local church authorities who will decide its fate and “proper method of disposal.”
