CALGARY, AB
A Mennonite woman in suburban Calgary was the victim of some well-meaning but misguided Wine Ninjas this weekend. The “ninjas” dropped off a package on the front doorstep of Mrs. Reimer, which included three bags of zoat, a Jack Thiessen dictionary, two bottles of Merlot, and a nice Vinho Verde.
“I’d like to publicly apologize to Mrs. Reimer,” said the wine ninja who told us we should refer to her as Harriet to protect her identity. “If we had known she was Mennonite we’d have dropped off the Spitz and kept the wine for ourselves. I sure hope it doesn’t go to waste!”
When the doorbell rang and Mrs. Reimer found the package on her doorstep in Silver Springs, she was completely flummoxed.
“I didn’t even know if I should pick it up. The neighbours might see!” said Mrs. Reimer. “So I just grabbed the zoat and made a dash for it.”
The wine was left at the door until the sun had set…and was mysteriously missing the next morning.
“I was grateful for the dictionary and the zoat, but what kind of person would leave this devil’s juice at my front door,” said Mrs. Reimer. “Probably Mrs. Goertzen! That GCer!”‘
Mrs. Goertzen denied any involvement in the drop-off and claimed she was at a Zoom Bible study the whole time.
“Oba, I’ll take the wine, I guess, but I hope next time she’ll bring something nice like Baby Duck,” said Mrs. Reimer.
Wine Ninjas have been warned not to make any drop-off at Mennonite households unless it’s the dead of night and the product can be completely consumed before dawn.