Site icon The Unger Review

Winnipeg to Relocate Trains to Keep Out Worldly Influences

WINNIPEG, MB

The Mennonites of southern Manitoba had it all figured out 150 years ago it seems. The City of Winnipeg is now considering the possibility of moving the rail yards out of the city.

“Oba, it’s just like what I’ve always been saying,” said Pastor Johan of the Steinbach EMMMBC Church. “Nah, junges, those trains bring nothing but trouble, nothing but trouble yet.”

Pastor Johan’s great-great-great-grandfather, also named Pastor Johan, campaigned to keep Steinbach free of trains over a century ago and it now appears the city people are taking note.

“We didn’t want our young people connected to Vanapag so easily yet,” said Pastor Johan. “Now I don’t know who those Vanapaggers are trying to keep out since all the bad influences are already there yet.”

Not having a train has kept Steinbach without sin since the 1870s, which is believed to have influenced Premier Wab Kinew in his rail yard decision.

“You know, I’ve got to hand it to those Mennonites …..” said Kinew. “This whole train thing was just a city planning measure, but, hey, you know, we could all do with a little less weltlijchtjeit.”

(photo credit: Robert Linsdell/CC)

Perfumer Releases New 'Urine and Weed' Scent in Tribute to New York City
Steinbach Celebrates 150 Sinless Years
Exit mobile version