WINNIPEG, MB
Starting this Sunday, the public transit service in Manitoba’s largest city will now include trips across town via ark.
“This is something we’ve needed for years,” said mayor Brian Bowman. “Every spring I keep telling people, ‘the snow is melting, the rain is coming,’ but no one cares enough to build an ark. I think they’re all atheists or something.”
The new fleet will include more than fifty public transit arks, each about 300 cubits in length, which will offer plenty of room for the city’s stray dogs and cats.
“Plus you can get from Osborne to Henderson Highway in a jiffy,” said Bowman. “I’m confident this ark will be the most efficient mode of public transit in our fair city.”
The reaction, however, has been mixed and so far Bowman has only convinced his own family and a few Mennonite Sunday School kids to join him on the voyage.
“Folks don’t know what they’d missing. They’re really going to regret it when the snow all melts and floods the streets,” said Bowman. “You better buy your monthly ark pass now while you still can.”
The Winnipeg Transit arks will traverse city streets this spring until some brilliant individual decides they’re out of fashion and brings back the streetcars.